Saturday, February 21, 2009

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff 15

Stupid Laws
This web site has an hysterical list of stupid laws. I find it a little hard to believe that some of these are still on the books, but then when I see proposals to ban live oaks, it becomes more believable. A few favorites, with my comments:

In Fairbanks, it is illegal to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose. A law in Fairbanks, does not allow moose to have sex on city streets.

Apparently somebody was getting moose all boozed up and then the moose were having sex in the streets. Those long winters must get really boring in Fairbanks.

The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is the missionary-style position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal.

I wonder if Ted Kennedy, Bill "I did not have sex with that woman" Clinton, et al, know this. And what about what Congress is doing to the entire nation? I think that qualifies as sodomy.

In Kentucky: It is illegal for a woman to appear in a bathing suit on a highway unless she is: escorted by at least two police officers; armed with a club; or lighter than 90 pounds or heavier than 200 pounds.

So an overweight woman with a club can wander down the highway in a bikini, but an attractive slender woman can't. Maybe they need to import some moose.

When I first moved to Texas in 1980, the state's blue laws prohibited the sale of hammers on Sunday. You could buy nails, but not a hammer. Fortunately, most of those religious influenced laws have been repealed.

Good News?
In what could be considered good news, this week Barry Obama stated that he opposes bringing back the Fairness Doctrine.

"As the president stated during the campaign, he does not believe the Fairness Doctrine should be reinstated," White House spokesman Ben LaBolt told

Even though Barry isn't in favor of the Fairness Doctrine, several Democrat Senators--Charles Schumer, Dianne Feinstein, and Richard Durbin are a few--have voiced support for bringing back the censorship measure. So, while Barry can voice public opposition to the Fairness Doctrine, his allies in Congress can still silence his critics. Who says you can't have your cake and eat it too?

Racial Cowardice
Attorney General Eric Holder told a group of Justice Department employees that Americans are cowards when it comes to discussing racial issues.

Though this nation has proudly thought of itself as an ethnic melting pot, in things racial we have always been and continue to be, in too many ways, essentially a nation of cowards.

It is an issue we have never been at ease with and, given our nation's history, this is in some ways understandable. If we are to make progress in this area, we must feel comfortable enough with one another and tolerant enough of each other to have frank conversations about the racial matters that continue to divide us.

Well, I'm willing to get the ball rolling on this one. Personally, I think too many blacks on are welfare. I also think too many whites are on welfare. Now that I think about it, there are too many Hispanics and Asians on welfare as well. I think many blacks rely on slavery as an excuse. I think many immigrants fail to learn English and assimilate. I think many whites are ignorant racists.

I feel better now that I've done my part to start a frank conversation about racial matters, even though none of these issues have much to do with race. They are mostly about altruism, which is one thing that all races seem to share.

Another SEC Failure
As if the Madoff scandal wasn't enough to demonstrate that the Securities and Exchange Commission is incompetent, federal officials raided the Houston office of Stanford Financial this week. They are accusing R. Allen Stanford of conducting an $8 billion fraud on investors.

The SEC web site states:

The mission of the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission is to protect investors, maintain fair, orderly, and efficient markets, and facilitate capital formation.

The SEC must be very proud of the job it is doing. We have had two major swindles in the past several months with investors losing $58 billion. And where was the SEC? Chasing down Mark Cuban for alleged "insider trading" that allegedly saved him $750,000. I am sure that all investors will sleep better knowing that the SEC is cracking down on Cuban for less than a million while swindlers are making off with billions.

To put this in perspective, Madoff and Stanford are accused of stealing 77,333 times the money Cuban allegedly gained from his alleged "insider trading". So while the SEC was using its resources to hunt down Cuban, Madoff and Stanford were stealing investors blind. I could get better "protection" from the local street thug.

Breakfast with Barney
According to the Chronicle, seventy people paid to have breakfast with Barney Frank this week at a fundraiser for Mayoral candidate Annise Parker. While the Chronicle did not share the important news of what they ate, it did let us know that Barney "quipped":

They told me to call it a recovery package rather than a stimulus package, but I'd rather be stimulated than recovered.

I am so glad that I don't live in Massachusetts. If I did, I would have to move to Houston pronto.


dave said...

Love the blog, and your sense of humor. Keep writing I'll keep reading.
Regards Dave

Brian Phillips said...

Thanks Dave. Sometimes I need to resort to a little sarcasm to make some of the things I read bearable.